Friday, December 10, 2021



Creeping inside my skull

Long tendrils of bitter cold

Sliding down my spine

Slowly moving along each vertebra

wrapping around over stimulated nerves

Worming it’s way into my chest

Sadness unspeakable unfathomable

irreverent of the daily fight

against the tide of melancholy most insistent

Breathe in the roses

Blow out the candle

There is only onwards.


Thursday, March 21, 2019

A dream "poem"

I am on a medication that gives me quite vivid dreams, one of which has become a 70k word short story that I still have to finish writing but the other night I dreamt I was at Top of The Pops watching Annie Lennox sing and this is what she was singing. Ive been watching alot of star trek on netflic....I think that explains some of it. :)

The wine the mirror and me
Reflecting back only perfection 
Flaws hiding among the the distortions of time
Between us 
A singularity of black space. 
Gravity pulling
Dense as osmium
Let’s swirl around each other

Saturday, November 24, 2018

The storm

The rain falls down upon me, soaking me through,
Feels like drowning.
Dark clouds swirl overhead.
As those around me walk passed in the dry
Not seeing the water cascade over and around me.
Not seeing passed the crooked smile and agonised eyes.
Look closer,
Throw out your hand.
See me.

Sunday, May 20, 2018


Sometimes words have teeth and sometimes the silence is too loud,
Is it better to be in the stillness or the blizzard?
Alone, untethered
Floating into the abyss

Saturday, July 22, 2017


I fall asleep listening to the sounds of Jupiter 
The swirling ethereal winds surround me 
Sing to me a soft tune,
Wrap me in peaceful quiet in my head.
I envisage myself on the gassy surface floating, looking up
Into that swirling mess of the red spinning spot  
Beyond so many moons shine. 
My body heavy dragged down into the bed
Relaxing, giving in for once.
And sleep comes. 


When your heart lies heavy in your chest
Swinging from a string tied to your throat
Shrunken and pendulous 
Too heavy for its size
When that string pulls with every breath
Tightening in your throat hard to swallow  
Sending forth a quiet choked sob from your lips
Bite it down
When your eyes stare into a void
Never-ending nothingness 
Saltwater builds and blurs 
Steaming down your face
When your head throbs and swirls
With memories you'd rather forget
Thoughts your rather not have
Reminders of what you lose
Where do you go? 
What do you cling to?
What's left? 

Monday, May 22, 2017

Smoke and Mirrors.

Faces in the pavement
Whisper, you can't go back
Hurt can't be undone
Secrets can't be unknown. 
A thief has stolen my light
Scurried it away while my back was turned
Distracted by what I thought was real 
Smoke and mirrors. 

Thursday, May 4, 2017


A hammer to my chest,
Knocking feelings from my grasp. 
Words once said can't be returned; 
They flit around like moths in the darkness
Waiting for the tiniest crack of light to swarm. 
How to move when you can't see,
Feeling blindly in the black,
For a way, a hand hold. 

Thursday, April 27, 2017


Lull me to sleep
As I shake in the darkness
Pour love by starlight
Under shivering willows
And snowing cherry blossoms
Scented twilight
Sighing softly 
Memories of another time. 

Monday, January 23, 2017


This isn't it,
This isn't the life I wanted, for me, for us.
The pain, the loneliness of constant pain.
The aching in my chest for a life not lived
Merely survived.
Waking each morning it starts before I can open my eyes,
Gnawing at my self worth, my fight being drained from me.
Sometimes it's all I can do to keep breathing.
In, out.