Faint light

 The feeling with no name drifts like fog,
Silent, but heavy,


A pull from somewhere deep
Where words don’t reach.

It settles like a quiet ache,
Heavy in the chest,


A sadness too deep to cry for,
Only felt,


Like a wound you can’t explain.

It comes and goes, unbidden,

A shadow with no source,

Lingering in the spaces between breaths,


In the stillness after every sigh.

But even in this quiet place,


A flicker stirs, a gentle light,


Softly breaking through the haze,


Reminding me that even here,


Hope can still take root and rise.

Kayt 

Oct24

Try

 

Don’t linger in the shadows of what has been,
That darkness is deep and familiar, 
it holds you like a heavy anchor.
Keeps you treading water to avoid the depths.
But life is a all too fleeting ride,
A carousel of moments, to be experienced and embraced.
Just,
Let go.
Cut the rope;
Let the anchor sink into the darkness as you rise
To live another day in search of those moments.
There is light waiting if you are brave enough to try.

Kayt Sept 24

The battle

It rages
And yet no sound
But the thumping of her heart
Growing in her ears.
All around her,
obvious the others move, talk, live.
As she fights to stay still, to breathe, to cope.
Haunted by ghosts of past failures,
All victories forgotten;
Until another is won.

Kayt Jan 24

Echoes

In the land where olive trees no longer sigh,

Mothers without children dream of better times.

Their arms, empty, ache with longing and unfulfilled futures.

Hearts stitched with sorrows thread.

The lullabies they can no longer sing,

Echo in the wind.

For the children lost, taken,

Bloodied and beat.

But in their hearts are known, cherished, missed.

For always.

Kayt August 24

The Girl

 The girl

She dreams of the places she would have loved to visit,

Sights she’s always wanted to see, feel, smell, experience.

She dreams of a carefree young adulthood where love and adventure were foremost in life. 

She dreams of a life more lived than survived. 

All the while there is a room within her,

The door firmly locked, curtains drawn, 

It is dark, so dark you can barely see your hand in front of you. 

And it heaves, seethes with anger, rage, grief and sadness. 

All locked away for the weight of it would crush her to nothing. 

Every time she’s told to be grateful for the things she has survived she is in part. 

But a tiny wisp escapes through the keyhole of the room. 

Washing over her in anger and rage turning to grief and sadness. 

For a life full of adventure left unexplored,

For the promise of youth broken,

For the opportunities taken. 

Mostly she dreams of pain and hospitals, of anxiety  and loss, of claustrophobia and the dark. 

But sometimes she dreams……

Kayt 2023

In Absence

 

In the absence of me
I can imagine their lives,
Free of the burden I bring
Free from worrying of what new problems are arising,
And how I will cope with yet more to carry.
I see the love in their eyes, their thoughtful worlds of encouragement at the simplest triumphs and it hurts
Everytime it hurts, though I feel the joy mine and theirs.

It hurts because I know,
And I want,
But it’s not for me
And I dont know why

Kayt

11-11-22

Creeping

  

Creeping inside my skull

Long tendrils of bitter cold

Sliding down my spine

Slowly moving along each vertebra

wrapping around over stimulated nerves

Worming it’s way into my chest

Sadness unspeakable unfathomable

irreverent of the daily fight

against the tide of melancholy most insistent

Breathe in the roses

Blow out the candle

There is only onwards.

Kayt

A dream "poem"

I am on a medication that gives me quite vivid dreams, one of which has become a 70k word short story that I still have to finish writing but the other night I dreamt I was at Top of The Pops watching Annie Lennox sing and this is what she was singing. Ive been watching alot of star trek on netflic....I think that explains some of it. :)

The wine the mirror and me

Reflecting back only perfection 

Flaws hiding among the the distortions of time

Between us 

A singularity of black space. 

Gravity pulling

Dense as osmium

Let’s swirl around each other

Forever.

The storm

The rain falls down upon me, soaking me through,
Feels like drowning.
Dark clouds swirl overhead.
As those around me walk passed in the dry
Not seeing the water cascade over and around me.
Not seeing passed the crooked smile and agonised eyes.
Look closer,
Throw out your hand.
See me.

Sometimes

Sometimes words have teeth and sometimes the silence is too loud,
Is it better to be in the stillness or the blizzard?
Alone, untethered
Floating into the abyss
Unnoticed.
Gone